Is it right to miss him?
Is it ok that I miss him? What I'd like to know is why I do? I know why. It was because of that last time I spent with him.
Good grief! What is wrong with me? I'll tell you what is wrong with me. It was the fact that he made it a night never to forget. It was indeed an amazing night and what he did to me I'll never forget, nor will I forgive, because it left me wanting more. Which makes me wonder, if he orchestrated it to have that effect? His words haunt my thoughts, "Come back to me when you know what you want." Those blue eyes looking at me, watching me as his lips are pressed against my fingers and I'm begging him to stop.
I know what I want, I also know what my life is like and I realise that he's not necessarily comfortable with that. So why did he makes things so damn hard for me that night? "Because I want you to give in!" He knew what he was doing. And what's worse, is that I let it happen and worse... why? Because I couldn't help myself. I just sat there relishing in the last moments of the wonderful time we were having. There in front of me was a man who I had just ruined things with, even thought it was inevitable.
The worst part was what he said "You know what? You'll never forget me, because I'll never forget you." I knew he was right. He is right. I can still feel his arms around me, his breath against my face, the way he stretches those limbs of his, his slim frame and his gorgeous black hair. As I dried up dishes tonight I realised just how much I miss him, and I really shouldn't. It was only 3 dates (well, four if we're really counting that breakup as a date). I don't know if I really mourned my loss because there wasn't meant to be one. It was only a handful of dates and yet I can't help but think, shit, I got attached. As I put plates away I realised that I needed to cry or let go. All I know is that according to him, we'll definitely be seeing each other again. Whether he means in the sense that it'll be at events we both know we'll be at, or something resembling our dates I don't know... but I honestly don't know how ok I'd be if I saw him again.
I can't hate him... even though I want to.
Good grief! What is wrong with me? I'll tell you what is wrong with me. It was the fact that he made it a night never to forget. It was indeed an amazing night and what he did to me I'll never forget, nor will I forgive, because it left me wanting more. Which makes me wonder, if he orchestrated it to have that effect? His words haunt my thoughts, "Come back to me when you know what you want." Those blue eyes looking at me, watching me as his lips are pressed against my fingers and I'm begging him to stop.
I know what I want, I also know what my life is like and I realise that he's not necessarily comfortable with that. So why did he makes things so damn hard for me that night? "Because I want you to give in!" He knew what he was doing. And what's worse, is that I let it happen and worse... why? Because I couldn't help myself. I just sat there relishing in the last moments of the wonderful time we were having. There in front of me was a man who I had just ruined things with, even thought it was inevitable.
The worst part was what he said "You know what? You'll never forget me, because I'll never forget you." I knew he was right. He is right. I can still feel his arms around me, his breath against my face, the way he stretches those limbs of his, his slim frame and his gorgeous black hair. As I dried up dishes tonight I realised just how much I miss him, and I really shouldn't. It was only 3 dates (well, four if we're really counting that breakup as a date). I don't know if I really mourned my loss because there wasn't meant to be one. It was only a handful of dates and yet I can't help but think, shit, I got attached. As I put plates away I realised that I needed to cry or let go. All I know is that according to him, we'll definitely be seeing each other again. Whether he means in the sense that it'll be at events we both know we'll be at, or something resembling our dates I don't know... but I honestly don't know how ok I'd be if I saw him again.
I can't hate him... even though I want to.
posted by Lunar Chick @ 9:11 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home