There lies a lazy force within me which kicks in as soon as an overseas friend comes to town. I'm not like this with all my overseas friends, just the ones who expect me to "show them around". I'm sorry, I don't work that way. I'm lazy and low maintenance. If you do not know London, do not come up to me, unless you want directions. I simply do not work like that. When I see friends it's usually in places that they will know or are familiar with or are familiar with the area around it.
Last night a friend of mine wanted to see me to show her London at night. There were so many things wrong with that sentence, the first being that it was a Wednesday night where most places close at 6pm. However, being true to my name, I took her to Soho because that's the place that is awake all night, every night. My friend is from the Middle East, and although she grew up a diplomat's daughter and travelled the world, she's never quite seen something like Soho before.
We got out at Piccadilly Circus station to walk up the Windmill, where her eyes were enlarged to saucers. We turned into Brewer Street to see various sex shops and bars on either side of the street. I could see my friend start to get excited when she snuck a peak at what was inside a couple of these shops. She couldn't contain herself when we passed a gay porn shop with a couple of posters and manequins inside. As we entered into Old Crompton Road I told her THIS was the place to have fun. This was the place to bring your girlfriends for a quiet coffee and a chat, while spectating the beautiful men that would stroll pass you. She nodded and took it all in as I told her what each place did and represented (how Paul's is to die for, how Moaz has amazing falafel and how Nero has the best view but Costa had the best coffee).
Since she had bought me a gift and she was a guest in my city, I took her out to dinner. We ended up dining in Balans where the scene in mainly in black and the waiters are so good looking that you don't even want to bother wishing they were straight. I ordered my usual cosmopolitan and a bottle of water (she doesn't drink), while we started with some bread and olives, and then moved onto lemon and herb chicken. She loved the atmosphere in there. Her eyes darted around the room as she looked upon the gorgeous gay couple next to us bitching about their ex's and who was doing who, to the girls next to us to who dined on fries and a bottle of rose, to the happening group behind us who consisted of three men in suits and a girl with a stylish pair of glasses (couldn't have gone to spec savers). She soaked it all in, including the gorgeous waiter who couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't help but smile to myself as she was completely drowned in a world she was fascinated with and I'm sure would tell loads of people back home about.
After dinner we decided to skip dessert and head off to a Morrocan place that I knew was close for some shisha and tea. Zaytouna wasn't packed, but it had some interesting (yawn) people in there. We took a couch and ordered an apple shisha with some tea. I had initially wanted to have my birthday party in Zaytouna but I realised that first, it was over priced for very little, second it didn't look like it could hold the number of people I had in mind, and third, I had read a couple of reviews on the place, and other than the belly dancing and shisha, it didn't get a good review. However, my friend and I just sat there like the good old days, talking, sipping tea and listening to some really good music. Here she knew where she was and slipped into her prime, sitting back and watching the world go by while listening to some random bits of news I had. Whether or not this was the kind of sightseeing she expected, I didn't know, but all I knew was we were both very comfortable. I'm not the best tour guide and I don't do tourist attractions and landmarks, but I do meals and laidback settings where you can sit and chat without worrying.
After we had our fill of the shisha thing, I decided to do a bit of the tourist-y thing and showed her Chinatown, and then meandering to my favourite S&M lingerie shop which was still open, and then off to Carnebie Street for a quick stroll before we decided to call it a night. It was a great night as she is just as low maintenance as I, however I don't think I could have been more laidback about it all. It's terrible really because it's not as if I was running around all day, it was only that I was going out to meet her. However, friends should know by now that I'm not one to show the sights, I'm the one they call when they want someone with the bitchy one-liners.
Labels: friends, gossip, Wardour Street